by - March 20, 2008

It's 6:22 AM on my computer clock and I have not snoozed even for just a bit. I find it difficult to get enough sleep these past few days and I can't seem to tire myself through out the whole day and it frustrates me that, I'm not getting the proper rest that, I should. I feel bad because I know how much my baby and I need it, but I can't do anything.

Whenever I would lie on my bed, close my eyes and try my hardest to sleep, my mind simply drifts off to thinking, questioning and my night turns to sadness once more. Maybe because, the heavy feeling in my heart just won't go away. I wish it would. I wish I could wake up one morning and say, "I'm completely happy today and nothing can bother me." But of course, I'm far from being alright.

It's hard when you have nothing else to do at home. Makes you think more of the problem you have rather than relax you. I really want these feeling to go away. How I want them to be out of my system.

I want to be happy not for me alone, but for the baby. I don't want to give it bad vibes nor burden it with what, I'm going through. I want to be alright FOR him.

On the upside. I'm really glad I have him. He's the only one right now that's giving me strength and reason to life. I'm going to do everything to care of him. I love him so much and it's now that, I agree with everyone when they tell me, he's a blessing. I thank God so much for him and I hope that HE will always keep him safe.

I hope everything would be better soon.

Goodmorning, everyone.


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